On writing

Sometimes, when I'm writing, I stop and think about what would it would be like if my characters were real. Would they like me? Would they hate me? How would they describe me? Do they like being puppets on my strings? I think about why I created them, and question whether they will ever be real for anyone else. I try to write characters in a conversational kind of way, try to keep it light. Every character has a skeleton in their closet, and while most of mine do, I try to keep the dialogue as normal as possible. "Hey, did you catch that awards ceremony last night?" "Yeah, it sucked." "Except for Alisha Newman. She's hot." I often watch people and imagine they are characters in my book. I will sit in a cafe and simply observe, writing down who I think people are, and what I think they do with their lives. Maybe they have a dog, or three kids? Maybe they are being harassed by their neighbor, or have really sore toes from their shoes? I question these things to no one but myself, but I question them nonetheless.

  At the moment I am editing my novel and I am realising that while some of my characters seem real - and in fact, the main character is a lot like myself - they're just not quite right. There's something off about them, some kind of tone that doesn't sit well in their palette. Maybe that's why I keep going over them, again and again and again and again, because they're not quite real. I could imagine them appearing in front of me in a semi-physical body, but I don't think I'd be able to touch them quite yet. My hand would fall straight through, and I wouldn't be able to grasp how they felt in 1994 when they fell off the swing, or what they said to their uncle who had slapped their mother. They're just not...there quite yet.

  So I started a short writing course in the hopes that one day I will be able to reach out and grasp my characters and they will tell me all about their day. The course is called 'Start Writing Fiction' by FutureLearn and it challenges you to write in different styles, in different ways, and to approach your characters like you've never seen them before. I actually found it was hard at first to describe my main character in a short paragraph, and it took me a good fifteen minutes to do so. And yet, I could describe the people I see every day in a heartbeat. I think that proves that my characters are not ready yet. That I'm not sure what colour socks they're wearing.

  I often wonder about why I write the things I write. Lately I've begun to reflect on my writing to try and make sense of it all. I like to write about people who have gone through some kind of tragedy in their life. I like to write about people who are suffering from some kind of mental or physical illness. I like to write about people who nobody else likes; people who are cranky or snobby or rude or impolite or all of the above. I like to write about murder, and the value of human life. I like to write about how easy it is to take life away, and to bring it back, if you want. I like to write about imposing pain upon another, in order to break them down and dominate them completely. And while I find that I can switch my emotions on and off to write about these things, I don't find I am a bad, or emotionless person. I still don't understand myself. I am someone who can write a paragraph about someone knocking out a person's teeth and placing them inside their victim, or raping them because they love them and they don't understand what love actually is. I can write about someone stalking women, and I can sit in a coffee shop and watch women to get into my character. But I am also someone who enjoys writing about love, and the joy of finding love, and the intense burning desire you feel when you find love, or when they find you. I like writing about sex, and physical desires, and how these desires mingled with emotional desires can be the most pleasurable thing you have ever felt in your life. I suppose I like to write about pleasure and pain equally. Because you cannot enjoy true pleasure if you haven't suffered true pain.

  I write because I have to, because I need to, because I crave the creation of people, of personalities, of feelings, of hurt, of all kind of emotions. I crave the mental and physical and physiological. 

  I know that a lot of people may feel disgusted about the things I write, but I don't see myself as equal with those people. Not that I am conceited; they are just not anybody who concerns me.

  So why can't I get this excited about writing essays on Europe?

Octapusus, Back To Uni, Illustrations, And Healthcare

This morning I came across an interesting article about which animal would take over the world if humans became extinct. Supposing humans died out, from some kind of disease, evolutionists have been questioning which animals would survive the longest, which ones would rise to an alpha status, and how long would it take their brains to advance enough for them to figure out how to get to another planet. Fish have been evolving since time began, however they have been ruled out because they have no thumbs, no means of creating fire, and no means of locomotion on land (unless their fins evolved into feet and their gills evolved to give them the ability to breathe out of water). After fish, we automatically turn to chimps, orangutangs, gorillas - even dogs, cats, and bats - but neither of these species would survive because evolution wouldn't allow it. That's just not how it works. Gorillas and the like have no need to evolve further because they can already swim without fins, can already communicate, can already find food etc. So, what's left? Well, scientists believe that the one species that is most likely to evolve to survive taking over the world is....the octopus!

  This isn't exactly as strange as it might seem. You see, an octopus has three hearts (even better than a Time Lord, and kind of like a Klingon!), they have four pairs of arms and can move on land as well as well as underwater, they have
vertebrate-like eyes (which are really creepy!), they don't need thumbs because of how dexterous their arms are, and they are already intelligent without the need to evolve. So you can imagine them one day taking over the world, right? Without the need for thumbs! 
   
  Anyway, apart from octopuses, I'm going back to uni next week. So gross. I just want to finish it! I'm nearly finished, but changing my major added an extra semester :( This semester I'm studying Comparative European Politics, Organisational Behaviour, Managing People In The Global Economy, and Business Communication. I've read through the course profiles and they're all theory heavy, which is going to suck. But Business Communication sounds like fun :) The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I finish! 

  50 Shades Of Awkward has been published!! I'm so excited. You can buy the eBook online, and order the paperback version. Besides having stories published, I've also provided some illustrations, which have been digitally coloured for the book. I'm so excited to just leaf through the pages and see my writing and drawings in print. It's so exciting! Here's one of my drawings. It's for the Shades Of Kinky section of the book! I had so much fun drawing the pictures, and I know they'll look awesome!

 
 One thing that's been giving me the shits is our crappy Prime Minister, Tony Abbott. Apparently, Tony Abbott wants to charge a fee for patients who visit Bulk-Billing governments, essentially creating a two-tiered health care system like in America (which sucks, by the way!) Australia currently has a free universal health care system which allows people to visit the doctors and receive certain medical assistance for free. However, if Abbott changes the system, then the sick who are poor or elderly won't be able to receive basic medical assistance, sending them to the hospital, and clogging up beds. You can sign a petition here to keep health care free: 
 http://www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/tony-abbott-keep-health-care-free
 
The picture of the day is...

 

 
 

 

Redlands Relay For Life, Uni, Unemployment, and Children's T.V.

It's February already, which is crazy since I feel I've just celebrated New Years. I've been fairly busy, which has been really great. I like being busy. It makes me feel somewhat important. Editing is pretty much finished for '50 Shades Of Awkward', which is quite exciting. I am a little angry about some of the changes made to a few of my stories in the editorial process, but I'm sure it's all for the best. I just want to finally hold the book in my hands!

  I've started my internship as the social media and marketing coordinator for the Cancer Coucil's Redlands Relay For Life, which has been amazing. I've met some truly inspirational people, and have learned so much about myself. I worked at the stall at Farmers Markets this morning, and enjoyed speaking to so many people. I brought Izzy along, so she helped me coerce people into buying raffle tickets and signing up. I really enjoyed myself, and hope they have a stall next weekend. It's something I'd like to do long-term. I even remembered everything I needed to say, which was weird. Maybe because it was for something I genuinely care about? I tend to forget things that don't interest me.


  Uni will be starting off again, which is great in a way, but I know I'll be so tired. I always am when I'm trying to do assignments and look after Izzy at the same time. She really takes a lot of energy out of you! But I'm glad to start the year, because it's one more step closer to finishing my degree. I like going to uni, but it's something I'd like to complete sooner than later! I'll be focussing more on my major, so I don't really have time to do electives, however I'm hoping to do a summer semester during December/January, where I can catch up on subjects and do a writing course :) Bloody uni. It's a love/hate relationship. Blegh.

  I am still unemployed, which is really making my finances suffer, and as much as I'd love it if Dan, Izzy, and I could live in a house, we just can't right now. No matter how many jobs I apply to, I'm just not getting anything. However, I'm hoping that now I'm doing an unpaid intern-ship employers will see that I am willing to work for free, so will be a valuable asset to their company. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not! I'm not seventeen any more, and I can't live on junior wages :/ I'll just keep trying, keep plodding along..

  I watch too much children's television. I've memorised every singe theme song to every single show, I know all the catchphrases, and the names of all the characters. I know the words to all the Giggle and Hoot songs, and even all the Play School songs. Children's TV is weird. I'd love to some kind of study on it, write a report on it, or something. It's educational (well, mostly), but weird. For instance, some shows focus on morality, others on family, and some on education (counting, reading, etc). However there are some really crazy shows that have no purpose whatsoever. They're just there. They just exist. They're like those random mistakes in road signs that make no sense.
Seriously. What the fuck was the sign-writer thinking?

Anyway, uni will start soon and the year will pass as quickly as the last one did. It's weird, really, thinking about how fast things change, how soon things end. Fingers crossed an employer will recognise my amazing talents and skills and hire me and praise me and give me money so Dan and Izzy and I can live in a house not connected to our neighbour's. Maybe.

The photo of the day is...


 

Oh God. This guy. *Shakes head*
 

 
 

Last year, 50 Shades of Awkward, optimism, and Anglicare

So I think it's time to look over the past year, mull on it for a bit, and spit it back into my UDL can. I live a fairly normal sort of life - I go to uni, write, feed a baby. And for most people that would be enough. But I suppose I always wanted more than that. Then again, who doesn't? Many people say having a baby will complete your life, but in my case it didn't. It merely added to it, and in a good way. At first I thought it didn't, and I was scared of how Isobelle would change my life, but now I've found that everything I thought I had lost has been returned to me in many ways I did not expect.

  Last year a lot of things happened. I finished my novel, I started writing SEO articles for Search Factory, I had six articles published through Student View, one through The Cortex. I wrote an adult fiction novel, one that currently needs editing, and I visited a friend of mine I had not seen for many years. I wrote reviews, ghost wrote two novels, wrote a handful of articles on topics ranging from animal breeds to why capitol punishment should remain in America. And while not everything I wrote was my own opinion, my eyes were opened to so many different things I would never have imagined knowing about. For example, I know all about maritime law, and the Kowloon walled city. I also helped to ghost write 'X Square', a novel, which I know I will never get recognition for. But that doesn't really matter any way, because I wrote my own murder mystery novel, and it will kick 'X Square''s ass. Maybe.

  One of the most exciting things to happen this year was being a part of '50 Shades Of Awkward'. I've ranted about it a few times, said how awesome it will be, but I suppose I'm not to judge. We (everyone from the UQ Writers Club) won't know if it will be successful or not until it's released. It's avaliable for purchase for a limited time on 50shadesofawkward.com/purchase/  for just $25! It's been such a great experience to work with other writers, and such a challenging one, as erotic fiction is really not my forte! But it's also shown me how versatile I can be if I want to, and I've enjoyed working with so many amazing people. My stories include Gnomio, Samantha, A Darker Shade Of Brown, and The Philosophical Toaster Boy. I have also co-written Shades of Ankles with a friend of mine, which was really fun to write. I can't believe all of the positive feedback I've had about my writing. Not a lot of people read my stories, so it's been great to learn how to develop my ideas. I'm so excited for the book to come out!
 
I'm optimistic about this year. I passed most of my uni subjects for last year, and during the upcoming semester I'll be working towards my major in HR. No more side-stepping with extra classes I don't need. Although I loved News and Politics as an elective, I realised I was more suited to essay writing than news article writing. I'm also excited to be closer to finishing my degree. The end is near! Another thing I am excited about my interview for an activities assistant for Anglicare SQ. It's something I've always enjoyed, and it will help my understand the human aspect of my human resources degree.

The photo of the day is....



I've just watch E1 of S3 Sherlock....so excited for E2!!!

50 Shades of Awkward, Bon Jovi, Holloway House, and Sherlock

Christmas is almost here! Yay! I'm more excited about the awesome food more than anything else. I guess that means my weight-loss plan didn't work. Hehe weight loss! I've been quite busy at the moment. '50 Shades Of Awkward' is in the editing stages, which is really exciting. I've pretty much finished editing my own stories, but I'll be editing others this afternoon :)

 Last night Daniel and I went to see Bon Jovi at the Suncorp Stadium! It was amazing! The best concert I have ever been to! The show went for three hours, with two encores, and the crowd were on their feat singing along to all the songs. One of the coolest things was the stage, which had been transformed into a gigantic front end of a 1959 Buik, with the grill as the video screen and its headlights beaming out into the crowd. A really clever way to decorate a stage!  

 Your love is like bad medicine. Bad medicine is what I need!

The whole band was amazing, but from start to finish it really felt like Jon Bon Jovi's show. He was energetic and charismatic and sung with the lungs of someone twenty years younger (and what is with his face? He's like a Time Lord! He's definately said 'fuck you' to ageing! By the end of the show (or what you thought was the end), he belted out 'Bad Medicine', which was so awesome! I loved 'Keep The Faith' and 'Bad Medicine' the most, and I found myself wishing they would play more  of their older songs. But it was still       good nonetheless! Bad Medicine made me think 
 of  'Jay And Silent Bob Strikes Back', where Justice walks into Mooby's. The show seemed to go on         forever, which was great because it meant we really got good value for money. It was a *little* annoying having a billion encores, and I found myself comparing it to the ending of 'Return Of The King', but apart from that it was simply amazing! They really enjoyed playing for us! It was hilarious when Jon mispronounced Brisbane as Brisbane, but I'm sure we can forgive him for that - on account of his extreme sexiness! Seriously! TIME LORD ALERT! Just look at him go! Rocking out like it was still the 80's. He was sweating a lot, but who wouldn't be in those tight pants? eh he he
      
It seemed the whole band has also aged really well, and they were all rocking on like gods! Bloody awesome band! I'm glad my mum loves them and used to play them all the time when I was younger! Thanks, mum!

  So....besides Bon Jovi....

I've almost finished the first draft of my new novel, 'Holloway House' =D It's taken me about a year to get it done. I really want to add some kind of car chase, but I don't know where to write it in. It's a different sort of murder mystery, with quite a lot of story-lines. I really had no idea how to weave some of them together, but it all kind of poured out of my fingers onto the keyboard and made sense. So many deaths! But all of them necessary! I'll be looking for an editor soon, so if anyone is willing and able..... :)

I'm also so excited for series 3 of Sherlock!! There's heaps of new photos posted, and new spoilers! I can't believe we've been waiting TWO WHOLE YEARS for this episode! There are so many theories as to how Sherlock escaped, and while I have my own, I still think the answer is going to be something nobody ever thought of. Just look at them! Sherlock with his smug hey-guys-I'm-not-dead look, and John's here-we-go-again look. They're so awesome!

  Sherlock Season 3 Trailer

Anyway....time to swat the baby away from the tree! Her little grabby hands just want to touch EVERYTHING!

Tata
Claire

P.S. The photo of the day is....