Stress, books, sarcasm, and Asian divers

People say that the way to combat stress is to have self-compassion, to remember the 'big picture', to rely on routines, and to keep using positive self-talk to make yourself feel better. But sometimes these things just don't work. Instead of laughing at idiot children's TV shows, or trying to entertain my daughter, I just keep feeling the hole in my stomach grow bigger and bigger. I keep thinking of the dreams I had about taking off and travelling around the country alone - all of which I can never do now. When you begin a family you become something more, something bigger. Your life becomes something better, something brighter. And yet there are always those dark moments that keep bringing you down. Sometimes these things just happen whether you like them or not, and yet you've just got to get over that hill and keep on walking.

Reading is a great way to combat stress. It takes you away from your problem to far away places, it educates people in a fun and exciting way, it inspires you when you have writers block, and reminds people about their youth. Dr. Seuss and Roald Dahl remind me of primary school teaches and memorable students. Teenage fiction novels make me think of the days laying in bed in the early hours of the morning imagining a life that would never happen. Reading encourages discussion and friendship. Reading makes me happy and sad all at the same time. It makes me angry and remorseful. But it never makes me stressed.

The important thing to do when you are stressed is to celebrate humour. Be sarcastic. Be mean. People say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it is simply another form of intelligent humour. Sarcasm is a great way to make stupid and officious people more self-aware and less likely to be stupid and officious in the future. Sarcasm can be a great way to let off some steam, and reading sarcastic and humorous stories can often make you feel better. It reminds you that your life is not so bad, and that all of your stress doesn't need to get to you. There's always a pirate out there without a peg leg, a sailor with sea sickness, and a little kid who's hidden their mothers lingerie. There's ten different types of humour.

1) Laugh-at-life humour - you just broke your ankle while chasing a rabid dog away from an old lady? Oh well.
2) Bonding-in-the-moment humour - you remind your friend about the stains on her brothers underwear before she tosses you out of the Ferris wheel for using her hair-dryer. 
3) Slapstick comedy - admit it - you've thrown a flaming bag of dog shit at your ex-boyfriends house. 
4) Sarcasm - (ME!) You're unnecessarily mean for the sake of making your day better. Did you see that little old lady trip over and flash her knickers? You didn't? Don't worry, I took at least ten photos for Facebook. 
5) Self-depreciation humour - does my ass look big in this? Of course it does, I'm a walrus! 
6) Dry/deadpan humour - you're British on the inside. You can tell someone they've got a period stain on their white pants without cracking a smile. (ALSO ME!)
7) Witty humour - you're the reincarnation of Chandler Bing. The best at one-liners and a bit of a know-it-all.
8) Jokes at others expense - you're mean and you show it. See that blonde woman hobbling down the road? Of course you have. You referred to her as Yellowbeard ten minutes ago. 
9) Bathroom humour - farts and shit and dirty jokes. You can wipe the floor clean with your toilet humour. 
10) Quirky cultural references - you're Abed Nadir from Community. A bit of an outsider, you love pop culture and integrate it into your every day life. 

Stress doesn't have to be a bad thing. When you're stressed, think of something funny. Like Asian divers:


Remind yourself that this isn't your boyfriend:


And be grateful you don't look like this:


The next time you're feeling down, draw penises on politicians faces in the newspaper. Remind yourself that Julia Gillard isn't Prime Minister any more, and that Dr. Seuss wrote a book about nudist sisters.


The photo of the day is......



Green Arrow! Made so much better by John Barrowman!

Claire